I'm learning there is much grace in having Lyme Disease. This disease keeps me vulnerable, frail, foolish, and broken. I can't lead that pristine polished picture of Christian life, where every wayward inclination, messy vulnerable emotion is hidden away into the deep recesses of our closets. I don't have the luxury of easily deceiving myself with self-righteous indignation that I am above reproach, worthy of respect and one who cannot be knocked off their pedestal. I am not trying to imply that most Christians are guilty of this. But there does seem to be a temptation to hide our messy humanity under the carpet, and let everyone believe we've got it altogether.
My pride has suffered several blows, especially in the last few months, as my emotional instability, follies, insecurities, etc have been exposed for everyone to see. These are things I'd prefer to keep hidden. I would like people to think I am strong and a mature woman of God. Instead I have come tumbling off my pedestal numerous times, and at this point realise that as long as any one puts me up on a pedestal, I will inevitably fall off. But PRAISE GOD!!! I am glad that my weaknesses can be exposed to all, so that God's strength will be glorified. I am glad that I am forced to learn I am but dust and my absolute need of my Saviour Jesus Christ. I am glad that I will inevitably fail anyone who tries to put their hope in me so that they can turn to Jesus Christ who never fails.
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