Understanding My Food Restrictions

Unfortunately, I don't even understand my food restrictions, but I thought it might be helpful to share what I do know about them.  I've had several people, even doctors, question whether my restrictions are necessary.  Some people are concerned that I am not getting enough nutrition or variety in my diet.  Others simply think I've put too much stock in alternative and naturopathic therapies, and should lighten up a bit - in other words, they think I've allowed certain naturopaths to convince me I have more food sensitivities than I really do - it's all in my head.  Others just don't understand how sensitive I am, and when trying to serve meals to me forget how important it is to be very careful to follow my restrictions.  I understand I'm the odd one out, and that although food sensitivities are increasing in our population, they are very uncommon.  This fact alone can lead to many misunderstandings and false judgments of my condition.  I hope I can shed some light for you on my experience of food sensitivities, especially since it is a growing problem and you may one day face this issue yourself or in your own family.

I first started discovering some of my food sensitivities in 2006 when I went on an elimination diet.  At the time I was very unwell, struggling with great amounts of fatigue, body pain and stomach pain.  I felt bloated all the time.  I even knew that something I was eating was hurting me, but had no idea where to begin to figure out what.  I went to a naturopath for the purpose of figuring out if I had any food sensitivities.  She eliminated all the most common food sensitivities from my diet for a couple months, then had me add each food back into my diet one at a time.  This is when I discovered my gluten intolerance (wheat, barley, rye, spelt, kamut) and my tomato sensitivity.  When I added gluten back into my diet, I felt like I had eaten 2 cakes in one sitting (in other words I was very bloated) and was struck with a very intense and strange muscle weakness/fatigue that would last 4 days.  When I added tomato back into my diet, I experienced extreme muslce inflammation all over my body.  On the other hand, when I eliminated tomatoes, I stopped having knee pain (which I had had for years).  My reactions to these things are not in my head, because I have reacted to them when I didn't even know I had eaten them (I would discover after experiencing pain that the problem food had been a hidden ingredient).

As my health has declined, I have found my food sensitivities are increasing.  I have learned to be very aware of my body, and what causes it harm (whether it be food, environmental, electromagnetic, etc).  This is part of the reason I know what my restrictions are.  However, in the last couple years, I have also had some tests done through my naturopath which have verified that I am actually sensitive to the foods I have restricted from my diet.

Now, if I eat a food I am sensitive to, my body immediately pays the consequences.  I will usually be unable to sleep because the pain in my stomach is so severe.  I will suffer from constipation.  Sometimes, I feel as though I have been punched hard in the stomach.  I will often experience widespread muscle inflammation for a few days, and increased fatigue.  My mood will very often be affected, and I'll be more susceptible to anger.  The culprit food can debilitate my body for several days.  I keep trying to convince myself that if I just keep trying these foods, I will get over my sensitivities, so I cheat frequently.  Sadly, every time the reaction to that food gets worse and worse.  My husband Sony gets quite exasperated with my experiments, because he's the one who has to live with me when the pain hits.  He knows better than I do myself that these food restrictions are real and necessary.  Obviously, I'd prefer not to have them...life would be SO much easier!!!  But I do have them, and even though some people doubt them, I need to stick to this strict diet and press on.  Thankfully God is gracious, and helps me bear with all these things, and gives me much hope for heaven where I will have my pick food for eternity!!!

Here's a list of my restrictions to give you an idea of all I have had to give up.  Some people have it far worse than I do, so I am thankful that it's not worse and so far I have been able to manage them.  It is a complicated business trying to prepare meals for myself, but I have learned and am learning.  So here's the list:

• Dairy
• Gluten
• Tomatoes
• Peppers
• Eggplant
• Soy
• Caffeine (chocolate, coffee, tea)
• Eggs
• Lentils/beans
• Seeds (chia, sunflower, sesame, etc)
• Quinoa
• Sugar
• Honey
• Maple Syrup
• Preservatives
• Additives
• Food Colouring
• Peanuts
• Vegetable oil (really am only able to have olive and coconut oil)
• Beef
• Pork
• Shellfish

There's probably more, but you get the picture.   One thing all these restrictions have done for me is to actually force me to have a more balanced and healthy diet.  My husband tells me he doesn't know anyone who eats healthier than I do.  I eat a lot of veggies, and a variety of them.  I eat a variety of meat and other proteins (lamb, chicken, turkey, goat, bison, cornish hen, fish, nuts).  I eat whole grains, and very healthy ones at that with lots of protein and other good stuff in them (millet, buckwheat, rice, amaranth).  I eat several fruits, concentrating on the most potent ones nutritionally (berries, pomegranate).  I rarely eat sweet desserts, and when I do, they are made from very healthy ingredients (agave syrup, nuts, fruits, whole grains).  So in fact, I am thankful for my sensitivities and limitations because they have transformed what I put into my body, and taught me a lot about health and nutrition.  I hope all that information was helpful, and will give you a head start if ever you or someone close to you develops food sensitivities.  God bless!

Millet

Yesterday I wrote about how I had discovered some new foods and new flavours because of my dietary restrictions.  One of those foods was millet.  Millet is a gluten-free grain, that has a lovely nutty flavour.  It looks like little yellow pellets, smaller than rice.  You can find it in natural health food stores, and even in the natural food section of many grocery stores (Uncle Bob Brand).  For me, the discovery of millet was a wonderful surprise and comfort.  I had recently discovered that I was extremely sensitive even to gluten-free oats, and I was devastated.  You may think I'm weird, but I LOVE oatmeal porridge, as well as granola, and baked goods made with oats.  If I had to choose between being able to have wheat, or being able to have oats, there would be no contest!!!  Oats would be the hands down winner.  Anyway, I had a pretty heavy heart over this matter of losing oats from my diet when I tried millet.  Now, don't get me wrong, millet is NOTHING like oats.  However, the new flavour and texture of millet delighted me.  It was like a gift from heaven, God comforting my soul and telling me that my life wouldn't be completely devoid of enjoyment in food.  I realise I may seem a little melodramatic, but before you judge, please imagine your favourite food and then finding out it significantly hurts your body with great amounts of pain to the point of being unable to function when eating it.  Imagine your future without your favourite food, but having to see it all around you, enjoyed by everyone else but you.  It's a big deal, isn't it!!!  Well, God used millet to soothe my soul, and help me to submit to my circumstances.

You cook millet like you cook any other grain.  Put in a pot, put plenty of water over it, bring it to a boil, then let it simmer until the water is soaked up by the grain (just like with rice).  I usually add some salt and oil to the water to give the millet an extra fluffiness (otherwise it can be rather dry).

Ways I like to enjoy millet:

1. I like it just straight, with a good dab of butter or oil (I use coconut oil) and some salt.  I'll eat it like this at any meal.
2. For breakfast, my whole family likes it cooked with raisins, and then we add almond or peanut butter, and again some salt.  It's delicious!!!  If it seems dry, I'll also add some oil.
3. As a salad, I love to add grated carrots, parsley, brocolli and a homemade lemon vinaigrette (olive oil, apple cider vinegar, lemon juice and sea salt).  Sometimes I add tahini to the vinaigrette which gives it a different flavour.

Food Restrictions: Trial or Blessing?

I have many food sensitivities that seem to be ever increasing.  This can make food preparation VERY challenging!!!  I have had to say goodbye to many of my favourite foods over the years, and trust me, the tragedy of this reality has been difficult to accept.  I keep pleading with God, 'Oh please just don't take away dairy from me', or 'Please don't take away honey, black tea, or maple syrup'.  The list goes on and on, and God's answer is, 'How much are you willing to deny for Me, will you gracefully give up your most beloved foods for My purposes even when you don't yet know what those purposes are?'  I could refuse, and cling to those foods, harming my body more and more so that I am harming the temple of the Holy Spirit.  Or I could give in to the food restrictions, but be filled with resentment, envying everyone who has the privilege of eating an ice cream cone, granola for breakfast, earl grey lattes, cheesecake, creamy pastas, croissants, vietnamese deep fried spring rolls, pad thai, green curry, and all my other favourite foods.  But that would be a miserable existence, especially since I am always around people who eat what I cannot eat.

God has called me to put these 'earthly treasures' on the altar, to sacrifice them, and peacefully submit to Him.  Therefore, I want to honour God by joyfully accepting even these small sufferings.  In God's grace, He has in turn blessed me by giving me access to a whole new realm of food.  It's like I've discovered new colours, each one uniquely beautiful and alive!!!  When people have food restrictions, they often try to replace what they used to like with something comparable (like replacing a grilled cheese sandwich with gluten free bread and soy cheese).  However, I've discovered that trying to mimic foods is often very disappointing, and only makes me want the original more.  Instead, God has shown me how to love to food I am able to eat, without comparing it to something else.  I am able to enjoy it for what it is, something filled with new flavours to experience!!!  I am learning to enjoy my new foods more than I every enjoyed the old foods.  These new foods are filled with flavour, but are also far healthier so they are guilt-free!!!  Now I rarely every feel guilty about what I have eaten, even when I have dessert!!!  The only time I feel guilty is if I have cheated, and had a bit what will hurt me (even 'healthy' things, like tomato, piece of cheese, lentils).  But this guilt is not so much because I fear weight gain or high cholesterol, but because I know I will experience lots of pain in my intestines, and will be prevented from giving all my attention to my family because it will take time to heal.

Anyway, I just wanted to praise God for teaching me submission in this matter, and blessing me with love for the broad spectrum of foods He has created!!!  If any of you like adventure, I challenge you to try some new ways of eating your foods!!!  It's amazing what variety is out there to be enjoyed!

Here is a recipe for a Cauliflower Pasta Sauce that I whipped up last night.  It is vegan for those who are vegetarians (I can't have dairy, and I am taking a small break from meat for the next couple weeks).  My whole family went crazy over it!!!  Very delicious, filling, and a new way to get in your veggies, as well as eat lighter.

Cauliflower Pasta Sauce

• 1 head cauliflower
• minced garlic 
• 1/2 tsp sea salt
• juice of half a lemon
• almond milk (or water, or other 'milk')
• optional: onions, diced

Steam your head of cauliflower until it is just tender. Lightly saute your onions and garlic for a couple minutes.  Combine the cauliflower, onions and garlic into a blender.  Add remaining ingredients and blend. Add more liquid if too thick.  Pour on top of pasta (I used buckwheat noodles, which adds a lovely contrast in flavour.  Buckwheat noodles are high in protein, so you don't even need meat).  Enjoy!!!

Update - Some Test Results

It's been a long time since I have updated my blog, for which I apologise.  Although there has been some improvements in my health, I have found that every spare moment I have is spent napping or doing some small chore.  Praise God that I am now able to nap in the afternoons (my body rebelled against naps before) and that I am able to sometimes do light chores!!!  What a blessing and provision from my merciful Saviour!

The Christmas season was wonderful.  Although I was still very weak physically, the pain I usually endure was greatly reduced, which allowed me to enjoy the season of preparing for the holidays, and spending time with family.  January has been spent recovering from the Christmas season.  I was pretty tired out from those minor preparations, and small gatherings.  I've been resting quite a bit.

In that time, I have also had 2 tests done...an MRI, and an EEG.  The test results have finally come in this week.  The MRI results were clear, which means that MS has been ruled out!!!  Praise God.  However, the EEG revealed some abnormal brain activity.  My family doctor is concerned that it may be myoclonic epilepsy (a milder form of epilepsy, that doesn't usually involve grand mal seizures, but does involve less severe seizure like symptoms).  I will see a neurologist in March, and he will decide on whether or not this is the diagnosis.

I am not sure what to think of these results.  I am relieved in a sense that the test results are evidence that something is not normal.  For the first time, my family doctor actually believed my descriptions of my symptoms.  Before he would always pass the symptoms off as depression which I could never understand.  How are things like uncontrollable twitching and oversensitivity to flashing lights in any way linked to depression?  Beats me!!!  So, yes, it is a wonderful relief to be taken seriously.  However, I have no idea what this diagnosis of epilepsy would mean for me or my family in my future.  I guess we will take it one step at a time.

I am still convinced that Lyme Disease is the ultimate culprit, and has caused these neurological disruptions.  However, I am not sure whether the damage done will be permanent or not.  Again, we will have to take it one step at a time, and trust God no matter what the future holds.

We covet your prayers, as Sony and I seek wisdom to know what treatments to pursue.

Update on Appointments

Two weeks ago I had several doctor's appointments.  I had a couple specialist appointments, an appointment with my GP and a couple appointments for my daughter.  It was an exhausting week, and I praise the Lord that He somehow pulled me through.

Although I am seeing one doctor who is convinced I have Lyme Disease, I also wanted to see some other doctors to make sure nothing else is wrong with me.  The appointments I had so far were pretty disappointing.  I seem to have difficulty communicating the seriousness and reality of my symptoms to doctors.  The doctors that I saw listened to me for a few minutes and without any further investigation dismissed me.  The one doctor told me that he believes I do suffer what I say I suffer, but cannot diagnose me or treat me.  The other doctor that I saw was more interested in telling me about his family than listening to my symptoms.  I was hoping for more attention from specialists.  It has been a stressful time for me.  It is hurtful to be ignored when trying to cry out for help to those who are supposed to help you.

The experience with these doctors has made me all the more thankful for the two holistic MD's that I have.  Both of them give me at least an hour of undivided attention when I go in for a consultation.  They are extraordinarily thorough in investigating what the problems may be (i.e. physicals, extensive bloodwork, etc).  They listen with a great deal of concern and compassion.  They have both demonstrated a real desire to help me get better and are distressed when they see me get worse.  God has been very good in leading me to these doctors.

My daughter also had a couple appointments.  There is some concern that she may have a hearing loss.  It is possible that some nerves are damaged, which would prevent her hearing certain frequencies of sound.  This means, she may be unable to hear the beginning of words, or the ends of words.  We are still investigating this, and have several future appointments to diagnose the problem more accurately.  Please pray that God would intervene and give Karalise good hearing.  Please pray that if there is a hearing problem, God would give Sony and I wisdom to know how to teach her.

I have been severely exhausted the last couple weeks.  I have not been able to get as much help at home with Karalise, so that has made things a bit more difficult.  Please be praying that God will give me just enough energy to appropriately care for my daughter, and train her in the way of the Lord.

Update

October has been an incredibly tough month, in more ways than one.  My health started a downward trend at the beginning of October, and has been steadily getting worse and worse.  Much grief has also weighed down my heart, as my dear friend and sister in Christ, Karissa Grandine, was taken to her heavenly home on October 17.  Much of the last couple weeks have been spent trying to grapple with this reality.  Although I rejoice that my friend now sits at the feet of her Saviour, Jesus Christ, and is forever safe from all earthly harm in His most glorious love, I am filled with grief at losing my friend who was so young.  Even more, I am greatly pained by the loss her husband and family members face now.  However, despite these things, God has been tremendously gracious, and has given me much peace and hope.  I mourn, but I do not despair, which is a miracle, as despair would be my typical response.  I praise God for His lovingkindness!

As for my body, it continues to get weaker and weaker.  I have been needing increasing help during the days just to get through normal daily activities.  I am profoundly weak, so that it is difficult to explain it.  I experience not just lack of energy, but a very burdensome and painful weight of fatigue.  The fatigue and lack of energy is aggressively attacking my body.  I have also been experiencing twitching of muscles, which at times overtakes my whole body.  I never knew until now what a terrifying thing it is to lose control of one's own body.  My heart cries for those who suffer from Epilepsy, Parkinson's, Lou Gehrig Disease and other such diseases that attack the neurological system.  I am only presently getting a taste of this, and it freaks me out every time.  It starts with my head, then shoulders, then arms, then legs, etc.  When I have an episode I find it hard to communicate, and am overwhelmed with a flood of tears streaming down my face.  As you can see, I am not very brave or courageous.  Thankfully, I do know that I belong to God, and no matter what happens, my soul will be with Him for eternity.

I am currently seeing many different kinds of doctors.  Next week I have 6 doctor's appointments!!!  I'm exhausted from appointments!  Anyway, please pray that God will give the doctors much wisdom to get to the root of the problem.  Please also pray that the treatments for Lyme Disease will be successful (I still receive them every three weeks).  Please pray that God will provide enough people to give me rides to my doctor's appointments.  Finally, pray for our family that God will sustain us physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially.

Thank you for your love and prayers.

Brain Fog

For a long time now my thinking processes have been getting murky.  But just like pain and fatigue, this symptom is not easily evident to people outside of myself.  Even my husband, who is intimately acquainted with me, does not quickly remember this hindrance in me.

In the medical realm, this slowness of mind is called brain fog.  So if you consider the difference between driving on a sunny day but the sun is not glaring, when there are no clouds, the roads are dry, and it's smooth sailing versus driving on a cloudy day at dusk with a thick billowing fog and it's far from smooth sailing.  You may still get to your destination on the foggy day (with perhaps a couple breaks along the way, in hopes the fog will lift) but it was far more complicated and even dangerous than when you could see clearly on the sunny day all that was going on around you (the cars in front, behind, beside, pedestrians, animals, road signs, etc.).  That pretty well describes my experience in my mind.  I have difficulty seeing clearly in my mind, and then have difficulty expressing myself clearly.  I'll sometimes swerve to the left or the right in my thoughts, and not quite know how to get back on track and communicate what I wanted to.  Often I struggle to answer questions clearly, or it takes a lot more time to figure out answers to questions that should be obvious.

My memory is greatly affected as well.  My memory is shot - I can't remember the intersection I live at, or I can't remember the name of the church down the street.  I can't remember big details and small details.  I reach and reach and reach, and the process is exhausting, but still can't seem to find in my fog the information I was looking for.  I will confess that on one occasion I even forgot my name, and referred to myself by my sister Leanne's name (Leanne can testify to the truth of this, and laughs at me to this day!!!).  At least now when I forget somebody's name (which is frequently), I can say 'Don't worry, I have even forgotten my own name!'

In the last couple months, I have started jumbling my words.  And I'm trying to remember specific incidences, and am having difficulty grabbing at them.  Last night I was talking to Sony, explaining to him that I think I have been having especially bad days because the mety heavals don't want to come out of me.  What I meant was heavy metals (I am taking some medication to help eliminate heavy metals toxins from my body, but since taking them my body has crashed rather severely).  I had to call my husband to remind me what I had said - to further prove my difficulty of mind!  I do this word scramble quite a bit, but trying to remember other specific occasions is seriously giving me a headache.

The days of being able to know exactly what I want to say and how to say are long gone.  Some days are worse than others.  Some days I'm completely paralyzed in my mind, being unable to communicate anything.  Sony can ask me what's wrong, and my body is screaming with pain, but I am somehow incapable of expressing this to him.  You'd think it wouldn't be so difficult to at least say 'I hurt' or 'I'm in pain'.  Sometimes it's so bad that, Sony can even try asking me specifically, 'Are you in pain?' and I still don't know what to say.  On less severe days, I am able to express myself, but it might take extra time to express myself.  If I give a quick response, it is often not the most accurate response, because I have not taken the time to search in my fog for the most accurate response.  When trying to encourage someone, I can make a real jumble of it, because I don't know how anymore to say the correct soothing and uplifting words.  There are many times when a new person is trying to get to know me and asking me all kinds of questions when I fail to be able to respond in like fashion and return the questions to them.  I'm too exhausted from the effort it has taken to remember and form my answers to the those questions.

My husband tells me I write these blog entries too well, that I sound too normal, and don't seem to have any difficulty to think clearly.  But it does take me time to work out my sentences, and to pull out the words from my head.  Plus, for some reason, it has always been easier to think through my fingers.  Communication through speech seems far more abstract to me, and thus far more difficult.  Well, that scratches at least the surface of my difficulties in my brain.  Hopefully that will help you understand if I ever seem kind of stupid, slow, or rude in conversation.