Update

October has been an incredibly tough month, in more ways than one.  My health started a downward trend at the beginning of October, and has been steadily getting worse and worse.  Much grief has also weighed down my heart, as my dear friend and sister in Christ, Karissa Grandine, was taken to her heavenly home on October 17.  Much of the last couple weeks have been spent trying to grapple with this reality.  Although I rejoice that my friend now sits at the feet of her Saviour, Jesus Christ, and is forever safe from all earthly harm in His most glorious love, I am filled with grief at losing my friend who was so young.  Even more, I am greatly pained by the loss her husband and family members face now.  However, despite these things, God has been tremendously gracious, and has given me much peace and hope.  I mourn, but I do not despair, which is a miracle, as despair would be my typical response.  I praise God for His lovingkindness!

As for my body, it continues to get weaker and weaker.  I have been needing increasing help during the days just to get through normal daily activities.  I am profoundly weak, so that it is difficult to explain it.  I experience not just lack of energy, but a very burdensome and painful weight of fatigue.  The fatigue and lack of energy is aggressively attacking my body.  I have also been experiencing twitching of muscles, which at times overtakes my whole body.  I never knew until now what a terrifying thing it is to lose control of one's own body.  My heart cries for those who suffer from Epilepsy, Parkinson's, Lou Gehrig Disease and other such diseases that attack the neurological system.  I am only presently getting a taste of this, and it freaks me out every time.  It starts with my head, then shoulders, then arms, then legs, etc.  When I have an episode I find it hard to communicate, and am overwhelmed with a flood of tears streaming down my face.  As you can see, I am not very brave or courageous.  Thankfully, I do know that I belong to God, and no matter what happens, my soul will be with Him for eternity.

I am currently seeing many different kinds of doctors.  Next week I have 6 doctor's appointments!!!  I'm exhausted from appointments!  Anyway, please pray that God will give the doctors much wisdom to get to the root of the problem.  Please also pray that the treatments for Lyme Disease will be successful (I still receive them every three weeks).  Please pray that God will provide enough people to give me rides to my doctor's appointments.  Finally, pray for our family that God will sustain us physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially.

Thank you for your love and prayers.

A Rescue Mission - Thankful for Friends

I've shared in a couple posts how the past week has been incredibly difficult and lonely.  Well, the problems of the week were exacerbated by plumbing issues.  Our toilet flooded the bathroom floor and when Sony tried to plunge it, the sewage water then flooded our shower.  The bathroom was a disaster.  The plumber came in and thankfully fixed the problem (at least for now) but our washroom was still disgusting.

I was having one of those days where I was too weak to make it out to the mail box, let alone try and mop up that ugly mess. My husband had been up half the night with me, and then with Karalise, so I knew he wouldn't be up for the job.  Again, I was overwhelmed and helpless (that seems to be my theme for the week).

But praise God for my friends Phil and Karissa who came over and rescued us.  Phil entertained Karalise while also managing to tidy our disaster living room.  Meanwhile, Karissa bravely tackled the nasty washroom, thoroughly mopping, scrubbing and drying the floors and shower.  Then we had a nice little time of fellowship with them over dinner.

It was just a small scale disaster, only requiring a good mop up, but it was far beyond my capacity to deal with.  I was done in.  I suspect that if these friends hadn't come in, I would have been a sobbing mess, and the washroom would have remained a disaster for several days.

Thank you very much, Phil and Karissa.  And thank you Lord for providing merciful help in just the right time.

Lyme Disease: The Epidemic

Do you know what Lyme Disease is?  Do you know someone with Lyme Disease?  Do you know the signs and symptoms of Lyme Disease?  Do you know how to prevent Lyme Disease from eating away at your entire life?

Chances are you really know very little about Lyme Disease.  I would like to take a little time now to explain Lyme Disease in hopes that I can warn you of the dangers of this insidious disease before it destroys life as you know it in you or in someone you love.


What is Lyme Disease?
Lyme Disease is passed to humans by a tick bite (a small poppy sized bug) and they reside in wooded areas or grassy areas.  These ticks carry a bacteria called Borrelia Burgdorferi.  This bacteria causes Lyme Disease.

What are the Initial Symptoms?
-Tick bite
-Bull's Eye Rash (white in middle, red at edges which can be the size of a dime or cover a person's entire back) (possibly on 50% of people get this rash)
-Flu-like symptoms (fever, aches, etc)
-Profound fatigue
-Arthritis Pain

If you have any of these symptoms, get yourself to a doctor asap for treatment!!!  The sooner Lyme Disease is treated, the better the chance there will be full recovery.

Later Symptoms:
These symptoms may or may not be present.  Each person presents a unique set of symptoms, which makes Lyme Disease very difficult to diagnose.  Lyme Disease is known as the great imitator, and therefore imitates several other diseases.

-facial paralysis
-fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue symptoms
-twitches
-headaches
-stiff neck
-widespread pain
-vision problems
-diarrhea
-constipation
-chest pain
-heart palpitations
-mood swings/depression
-development of neurological diseases such as Parkinson's, MS, Lupus, ALS, etc.
-in children: Autism, ADD

For a comprehensive list, please see this link:
http://lymediseaseassociation.org/images/NewDirectory/Resources/DrB_SymptomList2005Pdf.pdf


How is Lyme Disease Treated?
Lyme Disease is treated fairly easily in its early stages with 1-2 months of antibiotics.  However, the bacteria is growing more and more resistant to antibiotics, and several strains of antibiotics may need to be tried before treatment works. 

In its late stages, Lyme Disease is very difficult to treat.  You need to find a Lyme Literate Medical Doctor.  Go to http://www.canlyme.com/ to find such a doctor.  Typical treatment is long term antibiotics (6months - several years).  There are also a growing number of effective alternative treatments.  I will speak of these in another post. 

Chronic Lyme Disease:
Those who have suffered with Lyme Disease for a long period of time (1yr +) have varying issues.  Some are completely debilitated, unable to take care of themselves.  Some will die.  Some develop 'psychiatric' issues related to what the bacteria is doing in their bodies.  Some develop neurological diseases (MS, Parkinson's, ALS).  Some suffer great amounts of widespread pain and fatigue.  The longer the Lyme bacteria has to fester in the body, the more damage it does and the sicker the Lyme patient gets.  Lyme Disease steals life, whether that be literally (death) or whether is debilitates the patient until they are unable to live life (possibly meaning being bedridden, unable to work, in too much pain to know joy, etc).  It is a very scary disease.

Testing:
Unfortunately, the Lyme Disease test covered by OHIP is approximately 90% INACCURATE!  Blood tests that are more accurate are very expensive ($400+), and even they cannot offer complete accuracy.  These tests give a lot of false negatives (so it will tell you that you don't have Lyme when you actually do have it).  Most Lyme Literate Medical Doctors diagnose by symptoms.

Where are the Ticks?
Ticks are spread by migratory birds, animals, etc.  They are all over North America, and all over the world.  In Canada, the greatest concentrations of ticks are in Southern Ontario and parts of Quebec.

How to Protect Yourself?
Deet Mosquito Spray helps a bit.  It is recommended to wear long sleeves/pants when spending time in/near wooded and grassy areas.  The most important thing is to watch for symptoms.

Scary Possibilities:
-It is possible that other biting insects can carry Lyme Disease (such as mosquitoes, possibly even bedbugs!!!)
-It is likely that Lyme Disease can be passed from mother to baby, and through breastfeeding (there is a high incidence of miscarriage for pregnant women with Lyme)
-It is even possible that Lyme Disease is sexually transmitted (which means it is in our blood banks!)
-Lyme Disease may be the cause or a cause of diseases like Alzheimer's, Chronic Fatigue/Fibromyalgia, Parkinson's

Lyme Disease is in your country, and the number of of people getting it is growing phenomenally. PAY ATTENTION!!!  Don't end up like me, 8 years sick and now so debilitated that it is a rare day I can even leave my house.

For more information:
http://www.canlyme.com/
http://ilads.org/
http://lymediseaseassociation.org/
http://www.lymediseaseresource.com/
http://lymebytes.blogspot.com/

Make sure to watch the documentary Under Our Skin.  It is available at the Toronto Public Library, Richmond Hill Public Library, and at http://www.underourskin.com/.

May God grant you health.

An Introduction

Welcome to my blog.

I suspect my time on here will be limited considering the severe limitations of my body and mind. However, when I am able, I wanted to share my struggles in order to shed light on the reality of suffering in God's people. Especially in this country, life is pretty easy for the vast majority of people. Traffic jams, lineups at the grocery store, relational conflicts, flus, colds and headaches are often the extent of suffering on an average day in the average person. Don't misunderstand me, I know everyone suffers to some extent, and I do have compassion for any suffering, no matter how small. And every Christian must experience greater degrees of suffering. However, not everyone experiences longterm, widespread suffering. I share my story, not to say that I suffer the worst. There are many who suffer far more than I, those who have lost loved ones, those who are frought with far worse diseases, those who are lonely, those who live in war torn countries, etc. I share my story to encourage Christians to consider others, to enter into their pain, and to have a better understanding of how to pray and provide for them. I am just one example of one who experiences longterm, widespread suffering, and it is mild compared with many others.

I struggle with lots of things. I have struggled with a lot of things. I am extraordinarily sensitive, in body and soul, and have been aquainted with a broken heart as well as a broken body. I will be focusing on my broken body, and the consequences that has had on my heart.

I have have had fibromyalgia symptoms (widespread intense pain) and profound fatigue since the fall of 2003. Since then I have discovered I have many food and environmental allergies/sensitivities. I have been to doctor after doctor seeking help and seeking answers. It was only last year that I found a doctor who would really help me. That's 7 years of struggling completely on my own. In that time, I had no choice but to work. My family was unable to support me. For several years I worked in a shoe store, which demanded a lot of physical activity. There were many days I was in tears as I worked, struggling to keep customers from seeing my agony. I yearned for rest, but no matter how much I rested, my body was still exhausted and in pain. I didn't share the extent of my struggles with anyone. On occassion I would call home and tell my dad I couldn't do it anymore, the pain was unbearable. He would convince me to press on, and so I would at great physical cost. When a receptionist job became available, I jumped at it, even though I had a pay cut. I quickly discovered that the pain and exhaustion would consume my life, no matter what kind of job I worked. My health has been going downhill, and now I am unable to work, in fact, hardly able to leave my house. Much of the time I am bedridden. There is nothing I can take for the pain. It used to be I would sleep, but never feel rested. Now I have difficulty sleeping and the lack of sleep kills me. The nights I am unable to sleep terrify me as the pain rages unrelentlessly. The days following I can barely walk.

Sometimes life is just unbearable. My health right now is the worst it's ever been. Sometimes the pain is so terrible these days, that I plead with the Lord to take me home and let me leave this life. I am a huge burden on my husband, and only able to do the bare minimum to care for my baby. I put her on the floor in my living room, and watch her play while laying on the couch every day. You have know idea how this breaks my heart.

I am currently seeing a doctor (Dr. Krop in Mississauga) who thinks I have had Lyme Disease (from a tick bite) since the fall of 2003. From hair analysis and other tests, my doctors say I too have heavy metal toxins. I also have candida and parasites. It also looks like I had a dairy and gluten allergy from the time of my birth which has also aggravated my condition. The Lyme Disease diagnosis has been complicated. I already had those other things I listed (candida, parasites, food allergy, toxins), and wasn’t in excellent health to say the least. I was overweight growing up and couldn’t lose weight no matter what I tried. I had tendonitis in both of my arms that was really hindering life, but that was the extent of my difficulties. Then I moved to New Hampshire in 2003. Within a month or two, I was hit with profound fatigue, which later developed into widespread severe pain, concentrated in my lower back. I didn’t know anything about Lyme Disease when I went to New Hampshire. I lived on a farm on a mountain. loved walking in the woods, and sitting in the woods to do my quiet time. I would go out in short sleeves and shorts. Eventually the other people there told me about Lyme Disease. I think by that time it was already too late. I don’t remember if I got bit or if I got a rash, because I didn’t know anything about Lyme. I was always getting rashes, so it wouldn’t be a big deal. And in the woods, pulling off a little bug is every day stuff. Not the kind of stuff I can remember. They sent me home in July 2004 because I was so sick. Some of them told me to see if I had Lyme. I trusted my doctors to find out what was wrong with me and had no idea that Lyme Disease was not known or understood in Canada (it still isn’t). The doctors told me I had fibromyalgia or that I was depressed and gave me no help whatsoever. I went to a Naturopath a couple times, and that helped me realise my gluten allergy. I got a little better (a bit less pain, a bit more energy), but I wasn’t normal. I started going downhill again (though didn’t want to admit it at first). I was cheap, and didn’t want to spend money on holistic doctors, and I was worried to about naturopaths (some of them are a little too new age). Well, I got desperate, and my husband insisted I see the holistic doctor. I saw Dr. Jaconello who did extensive testing, and he is the one who found the heavy metals. Just a couple months ago, a friend of mine was in touch, and after hearing my story, she highly recommended I see Dr. Krop. She has had a lot healing with him. Plus, he really cares, and she says he’s like a second dad to her. Dr. Krop is a retired MD working now as a Homeopathic Doctor. He specializes in Lyme Disease. He used a Vega Machine to test me (it’s a homeopathic device that is about 80% correct). He tested Lyme disease and all the co-infections of Lyme Disease (ticks often carry more than the Lyme bacteria). He also tested me for a wide variety of food sensitivities. I tested positive for Lyme and all of the co-infections but one. I might have been a little wary of the results, but all the food sensitivities that showed were accurate (I’ve pretty much figured out everything I can’t eat on my own). The few foods that came up as a sensitivity were also correct. As soon as I eliminated them, my stomach issues had greatly subsided. Plus, the heavy metal toxicity was positive (just like Dr. Jaconello’s bloodwork showed), and other severe environmental allergies I already knew about tested positive. So I guess the accuracy of this test in other areas made me more confident about the Lyme Disease.

I am undergoing alternative treatments with Dr. Krop. I am also getting help from a Naturopath who specializes in fibromyalgia. I just found her as well. She worked hand in hand with Dr. Alison Bested, MD who has done a lot of research of fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue. Dr. Bested wrote the book Hope and Help for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia. I highly recommend this book. She strongly encourages CFS/FM patients to start an activity log, and to re-order their lives so that every activity is surrounded by rest. Rest is feet up and eyes closed. If symptoms are very severe (as they are for me right now), when there is a doctor’s appointment on one day, the day before and after need to be devoted to rest. This has been helping me a lot. It also works on a smaller scale. If I wash the dishes, I rest before and after (sometimes my rest is just sitting down, but feet up and eyes closed is definitely far more effective).

This is the summary of my physical trials. In following entries, I hope to share other ways in which I struggle, give more information about Lyme Disease (it is a growing epidemic in North America), give more information about fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue, share tasty recipes for allergy-free living, offer hope to those who suffer, and offer insight into how we as a church can be showing mercy to those in need.