Sacrifices of Peoples with Broken Bodies

Naively I hoped for some improvement for today.  My plan was to go apple picking with a dear friend.  But I woke early (more than once) and have not been able to return to sleep.  My body is raging at me with pain, and I only manage to get around by tripping around the apartment.  I was thankful I some how caught the jar of soup I almost dropped, as I was heating some for breakfast.  The thought of trying to clean up shattered glass mingled with spilled stock and veggies bewilders me.

I have had 5 long days of getting up and forcing my body into at least minimal action so I can care for Karalise.  Some days I am so weak and with so much pain, I go into her with tears in my eyes.  I hate that, but they come unbidden.  My spirit is overwhelmed within me.  It breaks my heart to see the tears fall down Karalise's face as she can't understand why I am crying.  I suspect today will be one of those days, since tears have already been in my eyes for the last hour.

Usually Saturday's are my day of rest.  My break from the long, lonely weeks.  My husband is usually home, and he lets me rest in bed as long as I need.  But today, I felt it was more important that he serve others, so I am alone.  I'm disappointed my strength has waned, keeping me from my apple picking plans.  My heart faints at the thought of the long hours ahead.  Guilt washes over me as I consider another dreary day for my daughter, another day where mommy is too sick to play and laugh and teach.

But one thought gives me joy.  I may be too sick to be of any use to anyone, but at least I can give up my needs for help from my husband in preference for others.  So today, I do not suffer in vain.  I suffer so others may be blessed.  I hope God is able use my frailty in this way.

I have a dear friend suffering with similar pains and fatigue as I am.  Today she uses all the strength she can muster to go out and pray for people.  In her difficulties, she is learning it's the time spent on eternal matters that is really important.  She doesn't have much, but what she does have she gives with all her might.  May God richly bless her today, and bless those she ministers to.

It may seem like some people are useless lumps in their weakness, but there are things they can do for God's glory, according to the strength given to them - whether it is to suffer loneliness and helplessness so others can be comforted and helped, or whether it is to expend all the little energy they have to minister in simple ways to other broken people.

P.S. My attempt to let my husband help failed.  He felt I was in such terrible state that he is now coming home, and won't be helping.